Sarah MacDonnell

The gang makes and breaks a pact to celebrate New Year's Eve without dates. Ross compensates for his loneliness by getting a roommate - a monkey named Marcel whom everyone adores. Well, everyone except Monica, who can't get past the faeces-throwing thing. And Phoebe faces a difficult decision when she meets a shy physicist who's thinking about giving up a fellowship in Minsk to stay with her.

The damaged Jem'Hadar ship crashes on a planet. Dax is seriously injured, but kept alive by Dr. Bashir. A group of Jem'Hadar who also crashed on the planet finds them.

While in Ireland researching a book, Jessica and a retired police officer (Angela Lansbury, George Hearn) encounter a mysterious death which is linked to a local legend. Guest stars: Mark Lindsay Chapman, Shirley Anne Field.

Both boys dream of being in bed with Lisa (Vanessa Angel). They are afraid of her power, especially Wyatt (Michael Manasseri), but summon her anyway with a list of requests, most of them sexual. She explains that it would not be in their best interest to grant these requests since she is their "perfect woman" and would destroy them for any real woman. Also included on the list is a request for a birthday gift for Gary's mother, Emily (Joyce Bulifant). Lisa gives Gary (John Asher) a small box with instructions that Emily should make a wish before opening it, and her wish will come true. She also grants Wyatt's wish that Chett's (Lee Tergesen) insults would turn on him, causing Chett's head to shrink, flatten, stretch and compress when he insults his brother, which is all the time.

Terminal boredom overcomes Gary (John Asher) in history class, so he summons Lisa &(Vanessa Angel) and asks for her power to fast-forward life to the fun parts. She adapts the video remote to control time as though it were a video machine. Gary commandeers the remote to fast-forward his dates to the goodnight kiss. Then he meets Donna (Amy Leland), who likes him but talks a lot, so he fast-forwards her chatter. Meanwhile Wyatt (Michael Manasseri), who is tied into the wish with his friend, is jerked through time as Gary operates the remote at will.