Pat Finn

Barry and Mindy's impending divorce prompts the gang to fantasize about what their lives might be like if they'd all taken different courses. Ross is still married to Carol, and Rachel is married to Barry, but fawning over famous soap star Joey Tribbiani. Monica is still fat and dating a doctor. Chandler is an aspiring writer and Phoebe is a Wall Street shark for Merrill Lynch.

Carol and Ross decide to have a threesome to spice up their marriage. Rachel goes to Joey's and kisses him. Chandler and Monica have sex and end up together anyway. Susan meets Carol. Rachel catches Barry cheating.

After years of being at their kids' beck and call and never having time for themselves, Frankie and Mike decide to take charge of their lives and regain control over the Heck household. But Axl, Sue and Brick don't plan on going down without a fight.

On a tipsy whim – and against Mike's warnings – Frankie decides to throw a Christmas Eve party at the house; Mike buys Frankie a much needed new dishwasher for Christmas but has a hard time keeping it a secret when she begs him to replace the old one before the party takes place; Sue calls on Reverend TimTom (guest star PAUL HIPP) to explain the meaning of Christmas to Brick when he reads the Bible and begins to question it; and Axl gets annoyed with Bob (recurring guest star CHRIS KATTAN) when he tries too hard to be cool in order to befriend him while working together on a Christmas tree lot.

As the Heck home begins to literally fall apart, Frankie and Mike consider leaving homeownership behind and moving the family to an apartment. Meanwhile, Axl attempts to fake Frankie out by pretending that he’s sick in order to get out of taking a school test and must later convince her that he’s well enough to attend a party that evening; Sue and her ex-sort-of-boyfriend Brad volunteer to prepare a school skit about showing the dangers of texting and drinking while driving; and Brick tries to offer a little bit of brevity by spouting off Shakespearian quotes.