Brock Ciarlelli

Frankie's dream of an idyllic family Thanksgiving is thwarted when Mr. Ehlert forces the staff to work on the holiday. Meanwhile, Frankie and Mike approve of a clueless Sue's first boyfriend – who turns out to be a safe choice – and a panicked Axl loses Brick in, a corn maze.

While Frankie focuses on rehearsing for a solo in her church's midnight Christmas mass, Mike takes over handling the chores of, setting up the Heck family Christmas. But Frankie becomes a bit jealous when it seems that Mike is doing a better job at organizing, the holiday than she would have done. Meanwhile, Frankie and Mike try to help Brick overcome a problem in order to get into the, holiday spirit.

Trashy neighbor Rita Glossner (guest star BROOKE SHIELDS) returns and is about to rain fire upon the Heck household when she accuses Frankie of stealing her hose. Meanwhile, Sue takes a peek at Mike's paycheck and is so shocked at how little he makes that she decides to call off her first official road trip to Cincinnati for her school mascot duties in order to save money; and while Brick learns about the birds and bees in school, Axl shocks his little brother by explaining the whole process in graphic detail.

While shopping for baby diapers for Sue, who has run out of them on a baby-sitting job, Frankie is completely humiliated when a clerk assumes she's shopping for adult diapers. Meanwhile, after getting on Mike's case to get a physical exam because she thinks men tend to fall apart faster than women as they age, Frankie proceeds to throw out her back and hides it from Mike, who tells her he received a clean bill of health from the doctor; a clueless Sue falls for Axl's friend Sean, who barely notices her existence; and Brick begins to test all of the age-old urban legends parents tell their kids – such as not to swallow a watermelon seed for fear one will grow in their belly – after discovering Frankie has used these white lies on him in the past.

As the Heck home begins to literally fall apart, Frankie and Mike consider leaving homeownership behind and moving the family to an apartment. Meanwhile, Axl attempts to fake Frankie out by pretending that he’s sick in order to get out of taking a school test and must later convince her that he’s well enough to attend a party that evening; Sue and her ex-sort-of-boyfriend Brad volunteer to prepare a school skit about showing the dangers of texting and drinking while driving; and Brick tries to offer a little bit of brevity by spouting off Shakespearian quotes.